Irritating Mistakes That Ruin Great Articles [Article Edit]

All that effort you’re putting in to compose a well-researched article is completely worthless, if you don’t eliminate the simple yet irritating mistakes cluttering your content. Many readers will be turned off after a simple glance, even before they read your “superb” content.

Which Irritating Mistakes Ruin Great Articles?

Rather than explain to you what such mistakes are, I’ll do something even better: I’ll show you practically.

I’ve edited an article from one writer featuring these mistakes. If your writing has most of the errors found in this article, you’ll certainly have a problem getting clients or capturing the attention of readers.

Fortunately, you can learn a few lessons from this edit.

Just a small disclaimer, though: any negative opinion expressed here isn’t intended to discourage you from writing, but simply gives a true depiction of the editor’s emotional state while taking on this journey into grammatical anarchy (whenever someone says that, you definitely know it’s about to go down!)

First Impressions Matter… Houston, We Have a Problem

FACIAL HAIR REMOVAL – LASER TREATMENT Introduction Hair growth sometimes occurs in some unwanted areas of the body, making it difficult for someone to interact and relate well to the people around them. Facial hair growth on women is one such occurrence but facial hair removal and Houston, has a way of dealing with the problem by utilizing the most advanced facial hair removal technology wherever it may occur. The Laser Hair Removal in Houston is that unwanted hair removal treatment center. Some Common problems the service can fix Wild hair growth can be seen in small areas like; chin, lip, bikini, armpits and such large areas like; arms, legs, chest, and back, just to name a few, but wild growths can be seen in ears and nostril of some individuals. Laser Hair Removal in Houston uses the most advanced laser technology to deliver long-lasting hair elimination results without causing any pain or future side effects. Our doctors spend a lot of time mapping out the best treatment plan to permanently rid your face of unwanted hair and as a result of their professionalism; most of our clients opt to treat their entire body for unwanted hair growth. The Service/Treatment in detail The procedure is purely the removal of unwanted hair in specified areas of the body and in this particular case we’re referring to the face. All unwanted facial hair would be removed by means of exposure to Laser Light Pulses that would, in the process, destroy hair follicles, permanently removing all unwanted hair. However, many factors would be taken into consideration to determine whether you’re a suitable candidate for the procedure. Your treatment plan must consider the following factors: –  Your medical history, –  Your hair color and –  Your skin type plus other related issues. The Information will help our doctors determine the right laser technology that would achieve the optimal result every time the treatment is administered. Our doctors’ recommendation is that a patient should take a number of sessions of the treatment to ensure that all the hair follicles in unwanted areas are permanently treated and would not grow again. Six sessions would be ideal for perfect results given that hair growth is naturally dictated by general physical growth, transition and a resting phase. How Does the treatment Work and How long? As stated above, this method of treatment is not a one-time fix. It is a gradual, repeat procedure targeting new hair growth and eliminating new follicles. At facial hair removal and Houston, trained nurses and laser hair removal technicians under the strict supervision of our doctors, perform the treatment and is absolutely painless. The new laser technology is designed to offer the most comfortable procedure and ensuring the expected perfect results. Once all the sessions have been done, the patients can be sure to enjoy their smooth, beautiful skin, free from any trace of hair or any kind of swellings or pimples. But the results can also vary from person to person depending on the laser technology, treatment parameters and of course, the treatment provider’s professionalism may affect the end results. This can be avoided when the right choice is made.

I received this article as a word document, and a casual look revealed tones of obvious mistakes:

• The article title shouldn’t be in the document header section. It’s not an e-book, right?
• All-caps on the title is a no-no. Also, it’s such a great title… for people who like boring. Good luck finding them.
• Underlining is superfluous since the subtitles are already bold.

If I were a choosy client, I would dump this “thing” in the dustbin. Fortunately, I’m a kind-hearted soul; so I’ll just mutter unspeakable expletives under my breath as I devour it piece by piece.

Enjoy!

Small Errors Lead to Major Blunders

Much like a person who misses one step and tumbles down the entire staircase, the writing mistakes keep piling up and getting worse…

My expectations are shattered just in the first sentence. The rest is one long, sad tale of: misspelling, unnecessary words, irritating repetition and other grammatical errors.

FACIAL HAIR REMOVAL – LASER TREATMENT
Introduction	A subtitle immediately after the title?
Hair growth sometimes occurs in some unwanted areas of the body, making it difficult for someone to interact and relate well to the people around them.	Mistakes: Clarity, sprawling sentence, word choice, repetition, passive vs active voice, sprawling paragraph, second/ third person narration… (And that’s just in the first sentence.)
Facial hair growth on women is one such occurrence but facial hair removal and Houston, has a way of dealing with the problem by utilizing the most advanced facial hair removal technology wherever it may occur.	Mistakes: Sentence structure, sprawling sentence, repetition… (Is “facial hair removal and Houston” the name of a company? If so, it should have capitalization.)
The Laser Hair Removal in Houston is that unwanted hair removal treatment center.	Is this sentence necessary? You’ve already told us the same thing in the previous sentence.
Some Common problems the service can fix	C’mon, make up your mind. Do you want subtitle capitalization or not? Also specify which service you’re referring to, to avoid ambiguity.
Wild hair growth can be seen in small areas like; chin, lip, bikini, armpits and such large areas like; arms, legs, chest, and back, just to name a few, but wild growths can be seen in ears and nostril of some individuals.	Mistakes: Sprawling sentence, punctuation, sprawling paragraph, narration flow, passive/ active voice… Reading this sentence was like running a marathon while jumping through hoops. Phew! Let me catch my breath.
Laser Hair Removal in Houston uses the most advanced laser technology to deliver long-lasting hair elimination results without causing any pain or future side effects. Our doctors spend a lot of time mapping out the best treatment plan to permanently rid your face of unwanted hair and as a result of their professionalism; most of our clients opt to treat their entire body for unwanted hair growth.	Mistakes: Word choice, run-on sentence, sprawling sentence, punctuation…
The Service/Treatment in detail The procedure is purely the removal of unwanted hair in specified areas of the body and in this particular case we’re referring to the face. All unwanted facial hair would be removed by means of exposure to Laser Light Pulses that would, in the process, destroy hair follicles, permanently removing all unwanted hair.	Mistakes: fluff content (we already know this from the previous paragraphs) Mistakes: Sprawling sentence, sprawling paragraph
However, many factors would be taken into consideration to determine whether you’re a suitable candidate for the procedure. Your treatment plan must consider the following factors:	Just say considered. Not necessary.
–  Your medical history, –  Your hair color and –  Your skin type plus other related issues.	A ray of hope in this grammar-forsaken article.
The Information will help our doctors determine the right laser technology that would achieve the optimal result every time the treatment is administered.	Avoid repeatedly using “the”.
Our doctors’ recommendation is that a patient should take a number of sessions of the treatment to ensure that all the hair follicles in unwanted areas are permanently treated and would not grow again. Six sessions would be ideal for perfect results given that hair growth is naturally dictated by general physical growth, transition and a resting phase.	Mistakes: Passive vs active voice, unnecessary words, brevity… Doesn’t make sense.
How Does the treatment Work and How long? As stated above, this method of treatment is not a one-time fix. It is a gradual, repeat procedure targeting new hair growth and eliminating new follicles. At facial hair removal and Houston, trained nurses and laser hair removal technicians under the strict supervision of our doctors, perform the treatment and is absolutely painless.	Mistakes: Sprawling sentence, punctuation… Would be best at the end, to provide an opportunity to include the CTA (call to action).
The new laser technology is designed to offer the most comfortable procedure and ensuring the expected perfect results. Once all the sessions have been done, the patients can be sure to enjoy their smooth, beautiful skin, free from any trace of hair or any kind of swellings or pimples.	Mistakes: Parallelism, awkward phrasing, word choice… Mistakes: Word choice, unnecessary words, punctuation…
But the results can also vary from person to person depending on the laser technology, treatment parameters and of course, the treatment provider’s professionalism may affect the end results. This can be avoided when the right choice is made.	Mistakes: Sprawling sentence, active vs passive voice, filler content…  Concluding your article on a sour note… not good.

Considering that I limited editing to only a few aspects, I wonder if even a single word would be left after a comprehensive evaluation?

The Grammatical Anarchy! Is It Redeemable?

Yes and no.

Yes, because the article can be re-drafted into a more intelligible piece; and no, because that may require a complete overhaul, starting from the source material itself. Therefore, to maintain a bit of semblance to the original, this re-write is limited to aspects identified in the proofreading stage.

Enough with the pontificating, let’s see what we have here…

Effective Facial Hair Removal Using Laser Treatment Sometimes, hair grows in unwanted areas of the body. This can cause embarrassment when interacting with other people; particularly so with facial hair growth on women. Fortunately, there’s a way of effectively dealing with the problem. Laser Hair Removal in Houston uses the most advanced laser hair removal technology to eliminate unwanted hair, wherever it occurs. Common Problems Fixed Through Laser Treatment This treatment can eliminate wild hair growth in such small areas as your chin, lip, bikini line and armpits; as well as such large areas as arms, legs, chest and back. It will also help you even if you have wild hair growing through your ears and nostrils. Laser Hair Removal in Houston uses the most advanced laser technology to deliver long-lasting hair elimination, without causing any pain or future side effects. You can be assured of our dedication to permanently rid your face of unwanted hair, since our doctors spend a long time, beforehand, mapping out the best treatment plan. In fact, as a result of our professional service, most clients opt to treat their entire bodies for unwanted hair growth. Facial Hair Removal Treatment in Detail All unwanted hair is permanently removed through exposure to laser light pulses, which destroy hair follicles. To determine whether you’re a suitable candidate for the procedure, many factors would be considered, including: Your medical history, Your hair color and Your skin type. This information will help determine the right laser technology that would achieve optimal results every time treatment is administered. Moreover, our doctors recommend going through six treatment sessions to ensure all unwanted hair follicles are permanently eliminated. How Does Treatment Work and For How Long? As stated, the treatment method isn’t a one-time fix. It’s a gradual, repeat procedure targeting new hair growth and eliminating new follicles. This new laser technology is designed to offer the most comfortable experience and ensure perfect results. Once all sessions are completed, you can enjoy the feel of smooth, beautiful skin – free from any trace of hair, any kind of swelling or pimples. However, results can vary depending on the laser technology used, treatment parameters and, of course, the treatment provider’s professionalism. This can be avoided by making the right choice. At Laser Hair Removal in Houston, trained nurses and laser-hair-removal technicians – under strict supervision of our doctors – perform the best possible treatment. It’s absolutely painless and guarantees excellent results.

Looks great, right?

Or did I make it worse? Tell me in the comments below.

Editing Content, Flow and Presentation

While I focused on the grammar aspects in my editing, Spike Wyatt – a volunteer editor – focused his editing on content, flow and presentation (take note that some aspects of presentation are based on personal preferences).

Effective Facial Hair Removal Using Laser Treatment Hair sometimes grows in unwanted places, causing embarrassment – facial hair can be particularly embarrassing for women. Fortunately, there’s an effective solution for the problem. Laser Hair Removal in Houston uses the most advanced technology to eliminate unwanted hair, wherever it occurs. Common Problems Laser Treatment Fixes Laser treatment can eliminate unwanted hair growth almost anywhere, including sensitive areas such as your chin, lip, bikini line and armpits. It works equally well on larger areas (arms, legs, chest and back) and can even help if you have wild hair growing out of your ears or nostrils. Laser Hair Removal in Houston delivers long-lasting results without pain or adverse side effects. Our doctors work with you to create the ideal treatment plan for your needs. In fact, many of our clients are so pleased with our professional service that they extend their original plan to treat their entire bodies for unwanted hair growth. How Complex is the Treatment? We use laser light pulses to destroy unwanted hair follicles in your target areas. The treatment is painless and surprisingly simple. You can leave all the technical details to us, such as determining whether you’re a suitable candidate for the procedure and choosing the right treatment. We need to know your medical history, your hair color and your skin type. How Long Does the Treatment Last? Laser hair removal is not a one-time fix. It’s a gradual procedure that targets new hair growth to eliminate follicles over time. Treatments usually last at least six sessions to ensure all unwanted growth is permanently eliminated. Once the sessions are completed, most patients enjoy smooth, beautiful skin, free from any trace of hair and any kind of swelling or pimples. Results can vary depending on the laser technology used and treatment parameters. At Laser Hair Removal in Houston, our trained nurses and professional hair removal technicians perform the best possible treatment under strict supervision of qualified doctors. Our advanced laser technology offers the most comfortable experience and ensures beautiful results. [Worth adding a call to action at the end, as this is obviously promo material!]

Awesome, isn’t it?